Kick-Starting Myself Out of the Doldrums

With my life moving neither backwards or forward, I struggle to find the right question I should be asking myself at this point. As always, it is the questions we ask ourselves rather than the answers we come up with that is most critical. The wrong question or the irrelevant question only serves to delay a resolution.

So I know I need to make some critical decisions and important changes in the way I live my life. Something needs to be done. A lovely word, something. The trick is to move from the indefinite something to the concrete notion of a specific plan of action.

What issues are holding me back? I start with a random list of the real issues confronting me right now. I have to distill that list into an understanding of the challenge that confronts me at the moment. And I need to prioritize so that I channel my efforts into dealing with the most important of these issues.

How should I proceed from here and now? I need to strategize. Lay out a game plan. I must make sure in my own mind that this has a chance of working... that is not just a wishful strategy that ill-fits the person that I am and the way I think and the way I function best.

I will need to unclutter my mind [and my life] and not allow myself to be distracted from the task at hand. And then I will have to take the first step. And then the next step. And stay focused until the momentum is carrying me towards a time when I have solved this set of problems and can now move on to the next set of problems, with a renewed confidence and resolve and a forward momentum that will allow me to keep moving forward again, instead of just marching in place or losing ground.

Before I initiate the plan, I have to ask one more question. What have I been doing that has caused me to shoot myself in the foot time after time? A brief moment of introspection is a good thing here. What habits do I have that prevent me from achieving success in what I try to do? Without devoting a huge amount of time to take a hard look at myself, I need to answer these questions and take a quick note of what I have rediscovered about myself. It will only help if I write my findings down and keep the observations in a place I can find them as I carry out my plans... to remind myself about where I don't want to go and what I don't want to do yet one more time.

Then it is time to do whatever I have to do.

Lost and Found

Drifting. I am drifting through my life at the moment, wherever the stream will take me. The rudder of my life seems to have a mind of its own. I find myself waiting for something to happen that gives me a clue as to what I should be doing next in my life. What exactly am I looking for? Something like an overhanging branch which I can grab and use to pull myself on the dry land at a place where I feel that I should be... where I feel I belong.

For the moment, I am lost and drifting. But I am keeping my eyes and ears... all my senses alert and aware of everything that is happening about me. I will find that something which I can grab onto... which will enable me to get my bearings once more. I desperately need to find that time and place. And I will, in time. That is something I must find for myself, because I am very tired of the fact that I am still drifting through my life.