Over the last five or six months, my life has changed dramatically. I have made one of those paradigm shifts and when one does that, everything changes.
For us humans, a paradigm is the model we build in our heads of how the world is supposed to work. Whenever we have to make a decision or we have to choose how we are going to handle a situation, we use our own particular paradigm to guide our actions and choices. A paradigm shift occurs when we have experiences which cause us to reevaluate how we see things and we revise our paradigm, our model of the world.
Towards the end of my time at my last job, what I was doing had ceased to be much fun and even before the office closed, I knew deep down that it was time to move on to something different.
When my life as a tech support person with an internet provider came to an end in mid-December last year, I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands. For a brief period, I had the luxury of having the time to think about my life and about what I wanted to do now that I needed to find another job.
In a way, the time between jobs was a really lovely time. I could slow the pace of my life. It was momentarily no longer necessary to run from one obligation or commitment to the next. I could stand on the sidelines and watch everyone else race about like semi-crazy people, functioning mindlessly on autopilot. I could clear my head and try to think clearly not just about where I wanted to work next, but also where I wanted to take my life, in general.
I found some work sooner than I might have wished to do that. But when the money shortfall became critical, I did not have much of a choice. So I was back in the grind and as I took on more and more responsibility at work, I found myself back into that world of get up in the morning, go to work, come home, make dinner, clean the kitchen, check the bills and if I was very lucky to catch a little television. Suddenly, once again, there are just not enough hours in the day to get to everything which I needed to take care of. Most evenings now, I have just enough time to put out the biggest fires and then to crash to catch 5 or 6 hours of sleep if I am lucky.
While I worked in internet tech support, I worked the 3 to 11 shift. So even then, I had started to stay up late at night when it was very quiet and the television set had been turned off. Only then could I truly hear myself think. Only then could I begin to make sense of what was happening to me and of the options from which I could choose.
Now, I really cannot do the late night thing. The morning comes much too soon and it only takes one or two nights of staying up until one or two AM to make me become something of a zombie during the day. And being really tired and fuzzy-brained is not something I can afford to be as an administrative assistant. I have to be sharp and wide awake. Returning back to the normal office hours has forced me to make some major adjustments in the way I live each day.
However, only now am I coming to terms with the most important adjustment I have had to make. For me to keep my psychological balance... for me to be able to have some sense of where I have been, where I am now and where I am headed, I need time every day to take stock of the day. I need that time to make the small mid-course corrections that enable me to stay on course. But staying up late into the night is obviously no longer a viable option.
So here I sit, before my computer, trying to figure out how I am going to handle this problem. How am I going to carve out a block of time each day to do this, when I don't even have time enough for all the other things on my list of things to do? Honestly, I don't know yet. As has been my habit in the past, it is late at night, almost midnight. I am stealing time from my sleep because for the moment I don't know what else to do.
But, my gracious readers, stay tuned. I will work out this critical matter. I will have to give up something else, to create this island in time so that I will have my time to reflect on things. I suspect that I am not the only person on this planet who has this problem. Hopefully, whatever strategy I work out may be something that you can use in one form or another. When I have worked out a solution I will get back with you.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Taking A "Snow Day"
Today I declared this to be a "Snow Day." I live in Houston, Texas and it almost never snows here. So how could I do that? Let me explain it to you.
In our northern states like Ohio, New York and Wisconsin, sometimes the snowfall is so heavy that the powers that be close the school because it is nearly impossible to get children to school. So the kids have the day off from school. Our equivalent down here in Houston would be a cold day with ice on the roads or when we are in the middle of a really bad rain storm... the latter could be called a "flood day."
Anyway, I felt the need to escape from the grind for a day. I had been inundated by so many issues personal and otherwise, that I no longer had the strength or the inclination to slog through it. So since all the various things that I had to do had simply come at me too fast and too furiously, I was drowning in my responsibilities, I took a cue from my fellow Americans from the north. I declared today a snow day and I stayed home and just sort of chilled out [pun unintended.] I just needed to recharge my batteries for 24 hours and that is exactly what I did.
Well I have and now I am ready to head back into the grind once again. Taking a snow day is not something I can or should do very often. But every so often it is just what the doctor ordered and we need to give ourselves just a bit of time just to live unencumbered by the stuff that normally clutters our days and sucks up our time.
Take my word for it. Snow Days are good for the soul. You ought to try it sometime.
In our northern states like Ohio, New York and Wisconsin, sometimes the snowfall is so heavy that the powers that be close the school because it is nearly impossible to get children to school. So the kids have the day off from school. Our equivalent down here in Houston would be a cold day with ice on the roads or when we are in the middle of a really bad rain storm... the latter could be called a "flood day."
Anyway, I felt the need to escape from the grind for a day. I had been inundated by so many issues personal and otherwise, that I no longer had the strength or the inclination to slog through it. So since all the various things that I had to do had simply come at me too fast and too furiously, I was drowning in my responsibilities, I took a cue from my fellow Americans from the north. I declared today a snow day and I stayed home and just sort of chilled out [pun unintended.] I just needed to recharge my batteries for 24 hours and that is exactly what I did.
Well I have and now I am ready to head back into the grind once again. Taking a snow day is not something I can or should do very often. But every so often it is just what the doctor ordered and we need to give ourselves just a bit of time just to live unencumbered by the stuff that normally clutters our days and sucks up our time.
Take my word for it. Snow Days are good for the soul. You ought to try it sometime.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Remembering to Leave Some Space in My Life for Dreams and for Aspirations
I have finally moved on in my life to that stage that has to do with being practical and with making the necessary compromises to survive in this life. Even if it took me almost 60 years to get to this point, I did. And, I guess, that is what really matters, isn't it? I want to say that getting to where I am today, is supposed to be what growing up is supposed to be all about. But you know what? Now I sometimes have this terribly empty feeling that now something terribly important is missing from my life. Until now, I wasn't exactly sure what that something was.
Stephen Sondheim, in the first scene of Merrily We Roll Along, gives us a wonderfully clear picture of what it means to be where I am and where a lot of you already are, as well. In this scene, Franklin Shepherd, a famous songwriter and producer, has been invited to be the main speaker at the graduation at the high school from which he graduated twenty-five years earlier. At his own graduation, he declared, "My final thought is a simple but mighty thought. It is the obligation we have been given. It is to not turn out the same. It is to grow, to accomplish, to change the world."
In the first scene of the play, the man we are seeing and hearing is the man he turned out to be. This play looks at Mr. Shepherd in a unique way. It starts in the present and moves one step at a time into the past, all the way back to that moment he spoke as his class's valedictorian. For the moment, you and I are only concerned with how he turned out and his own take on life as a grownup. What follows is an excerpt from lines from that scene.
That is a pretty sobering bit of "wisdom." As I was growing up, I harbored nearly impossible dreams and ambitions for myself. I, for one, did not want to hear the words "practical" and "compromise" and I knew for a fact that when I hit my stride I was going to conquer the world as a writer or something. I was going to change the world in a big way. So how did it turn out for me? I did not realize these goals. As you have already figured out, it took me a very long time to come to terms with the realities of life and to become a practical person. My wife is very relieved that I finally did that.
And understanding the notion of compromise... well, for too long, I had a very hard time reconciling that the way things should be done, honestly and ethically, was most not the way that things in life happened. People were as often as not less than kind and considerate of other people. The playing field was and is still anything but even in most endeavors. Politicians are... well, it suffices to say that they are politicians. I will leave it at that. The United Nations as an organization is something less than united. The world is not a perfect place. In fact, it is a fair statement to say the world is a certifiable mess and always has been, with humans at the helm.
Let's get really basic here. Eventually I figured out that I wasn't going to save the world any more than I was going to save even a single person from making some dreadful mistakes. Hell! I was so worried about saving the world that I wasn't paying attention to my own personal affairs. Bills did not get paid. I had problems at work, because of my notion that certain practices and situations shouldn't be allowed. I learned that workplaces are not perfect models of human dynamics either. In my own personal relationships, I made mistakes, in large measure because I was focusing on how I was going to make a large place for myself in the world. I didn't always think about what was happening right around me and about the people who were near and close.I did not think about the impact of my actions on the people about whom I cared the most. I shot myself in the foot a lot and kept on doing it over and over again.
Then one day, late in the game, I got practical. I made compromises. I have become a modestly functional human being. I took my dreams, my hopes for my life... my aspirations and I put them into a shoe box and put them on the top shelf in my closet. Out of sight and out of mind. These days, I am feeling pretty chipper. Yesterday, I even enjoyed one of the rare moments of survival in the face of adversity and of modest success.
But in the quiet moments, I feel a sense of loss. Sometimes I will take down that shoe box and take out each of the individual items stored there. I now understand that when we are young, we dream large and we do not fully understand the sometimes terrible price we will have to pay to realize our aspirations. So we chase after our dreams only to discover after it is too late to turn back the clock that what we were chasing was a nightmare in disguise. It wasn't exactly what we thought it was at first.
Now I know that a life characterized by simplicity is something to be desired and treasured. And yet, I have this craving, almost like the craving in an addiction, to go out and seek one last "hit" of aspiration and of chasing what is probably an impractical dream.
In my early fifties, I did just that. For three glorious, exciting, enthralling, emotionally devastating and totally disastrous years I lived on the edge and I felt alive, like I have never felt alive, before or since that time. And, wow, did I ever crash and burn at the end of the adventure. And you know what? I wouldn't do that again for a million dollars. But I have absolutely no regrets that I gave chasing my dream my best shot. At least I tried to get there. It was the only time in my entire life that I gave any effort my all. That felt good.
Then I accepted the fact I had to make compromises and to become practical. I was finally ready to accept that reality and to make the decision to become a more centered and practical sort of fellow. I have become Franklin Shepherd, at least in terms of buying into part of his philosophy about life. G'd help me. This is not necessarily the person I wanted to become. But reality is a hard task master and also, life goes a lot smoother for me these days.
Even so, I have those moments when I dream my dreams and still have visions of grand things I could do with my life. Somehow I feel the need to squeeze in a few moments like those into my days. Don't get me wrong. I love my life just as it is now. I love the people who are in my life now. I love being finally able to take care of them, to take care of myself and to be able to stand on my own two feet. That is a good thing. Most of the time. However, sometimes I have to escape from this safe existence, even if only in my own mind, to live that other life I could have lived, if things had turned out differently.
Stephen Sondheim, in the first scene of Merrily We Roll Along, gives us a wonderfully clear picture of what it means to be where I am and where a lot of you already are, as well. In this scene, Franklin Shepherd, a famous songwriter and producer, has been invited to be the main speaker at the graduation at the high school from which he graduated twenty-five years earlier. At his own graduation, he declared, "My final thought is a simple but mighty thought. It is the obligation we have been given. It is to not turn out the same. It is to grow, to accomplish, to change the world."
In the first scene of the play, the man we are seeing and hearing is the man he turned out to be. This play looks at Mr. Shepherd in a unique way. It starts in the present and moves one step at a time into the past, all the way back to that moment he spoke as his class's valedictorian. For the moment, you and I are only concerned with how he turned out and his own take on life as a grownup. What follows is an excerpt from lines from that scene.
"...[W]ould I be hanged if I told you innocents a few realities. I can save you guys so much pain and hurt if I can make you understand today that life isn't about doing the best; it'd about doing the best you can.
A goal is something you aim for more than something you achieve.
I'm thinking you better start by hearing the word 'practical' right here, right now. today.
Some day I guarantee you'll know 'practical' very well. Fate has a way of introducing 'practical' eventually.
And it's the same with 'compromise.' Compromise is how you survive. Compromise is the bottom line, let me tell you.
If you know now that what you're intending to happen ain't gonna happen the way you think it's gonna happen, because life has some ideas about your intentions.
Hey kids! Listen to us 'old guys' if you can. I know you don't see it, but some day you're going to be us."
That is a pretty sobering bit of "wisdom." As I was growing up, I harbored nearly impossible dreams and ambitions for myself. I, for one, did not want to hear the words "practical" and "compromise" and I knew for a fact that when I hit my stride I was going to conquer the world as a writer or something. I was going to change the world in a big way. So how did it turn out for me? I did not realize these goals. As you have already figured out, it took me a very long time to come to terms with the realities of life and to become a practical person. My wife is very relieved that I finally did that.
And understanding the notion of compromise... well, for too long, I had a very hard time reconciling that the way things should be done, honestly and ethically, was most not the way that things in life happened. People were as often as not less than kind and considerate of other people. The playing field was and is still anything but even in most endeavors. Politicians are... well, it suffices to say that they are politicians. I will leave it at that. The United Nations as an organization is something less than united. The world is not a perfect place. In fact, it is a fair statement to say the world is a certifiable mess and always has been, with humans at the helm.
Let's get really basic here. Eventually I figured out that I wasn't going to save the world any more than I was going to save even a single person from making some dreadful mistakes. Hell! I was so worried about saving the world that I wasn't paying attention to my own personal affairs. Bills did not get paid. I had problems at work, because of my notion that certain practices and situations shouldn't be allowed. I learned that workplaces are not perfect models of human dynamics either. In my own personal relationships, I made mistakes, in large measure because I was focusing on how I was going to make a large place for myself in the world. I didn't always think about what was happening right around me and about the people who were near and close.I did not think about the impact of my actions on the people about whom I cared the most. I shot myself in the foot a lot and kept on doing it over and over again.
Then one day, late in the game, I got practical. I made compromises. I have become a modestly functional human being. I took my dreams, my hopes for my life... my aspirations and I put them into a shoe box and put them on the top shelf in my closet. Out of sight and out of mind. These days, I am feeling pretty chipper. Yesterday, I even enjoyed one of the rare moments of survival in the face of adversity and of modest success.
But in the quiet moments, I feel a sense of loss. Sometimes I will take down that shoe box and take out each of the individual items stored there. I now understand that when we are young, we dream large and we do not fully understand the sometimes terrible price we will have to pay to realize our aspirations. So we chase after our dreams only to discover after it is too late to turn back the clock that what we were chasing was a nightmare in disguise. It wasn't exactly what we thought it was at first.
Now I know that a life characterized by simplicity is something to be desired and treasured. And yet, I have this craving, almost like the craving in an addiction, to go out and seek one last "hit" of aspiration and of chasing what is probably an impractical dream.
In my early fifties, I did just that. For three glorious, exciting, enthralling, emotionally devastating and totally disastrous years I lived on the edge and I felt alive, like I have never felt alive, before or since that time. And, wow, did I ever crash and burn at the end of the adventure. And you know what? I wouldn't do that again for a million dollars. But I have absolutely no regrets that I gave chasing my dream my best shot. At least I tried to get there. It was the only time in my entire life that I gave any effort my all. That felt good.
Then I accepted the fact I had to make compromises and to become practical. I was finally ready to accept that reality and to make the decision to become a more centered and practical sort of fellow. I have become Franklin Shepherd, at least in terms of buying into part of his philosophy about life. G'd help me. This is not necessarily the person I wanted to become. But reality is a hard task master and also, life goes a lot smoother for me these days.
Even so, I have those moments when I dream my dreams and still have visions of grand things I could do with my life. Somehow I feel the need to squeeze in a few moments like those into my days. Don't get me wrong. I love my life just as it is now. I love the people who are in my life now. I love being finally able to take care of them, to take care of myself and to be able to stand on my own two feet. That is a good thing. Most of the time. However, sometimes I have to escape from this safe existence, even if only in my own mind, to live that other life I could have lived, if things had turned out differently.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
What Was I Thinking At the Time?
Isn't if funny how we sometimes will remember some random event that took place years ago for no particular reason. That happened to me today.
I remembered that a long time ago, I had just arrived at Krogers to buy some groceries. As I got out of my car and started to go into the store, I saw this shopping cart which for some apparent reason was barreling towards this really nice black car directly in its path about 5o feet away. I saw the driver of the car just getting out of his car and he had not seen the cart coming. I did not call out to him to warn him. I just stood there, fascinated by the randomness of what I was seeing, a grocery cart moving across a parking lot for no reason whatsoever. It was almost hypnotizing as I just stood there following the movement of the cart and waiteing to see what would happen next.
The cart accelerated and slammed hard into the front side panel of the car.
The car's owner was stunned at first and then really angry. He looked about and saw me standing about forty feet away from his car. I had not been close to the cart at all. There was no way that I could have even touched that cart because I stood at a point 90 degrees away from the path of the cart. And still, the man screamed across the lot at me, "Did you do this?"
I still just stood there for a moment or two longer, shook my head and turned to go into the store.
Looking back at that moment, I wondered to myself why I had not yelled out to warn the man that the cart was heading for his car. Why did I do nothing at all? What was wrong with me at that particular moment? What had I been thinking at the time? That it was a really "interesting" moment, at the time?
I don't have a good answer to any of those questions. However, I would like to think that I am a more caring and considerate person than I was at that moment. I really do not savor the idea that at that isolated moment in time, I was the classic bystander asking myself, "Why should I get involved, anyway. After all, that basket is not not heading towards my car. I will not get involved because this has nothing to do with me."
I would also like to think that at minimum that today I would try to do something to help prevent the collision of the cart with that fellows auto. I would like to think that some kind of ingrained sense of community would kick in now, so that I would automatically sound the alarm and get the man's attention, like a caring and considerate member if my community.
Well, we will see just what kind of stuff I am made of, the next time I am face to face one of life's painful little dramas that other people are going through. And presented with the problem in a specific situation, maybe the next time I will be able to change the outcome for the better.
We will see how I handle myself the next time. I only hope that I have learned something about caring what happens to other people and what they possess. Only time will tell what I will end up doing if something like this happens again to me.
I remembered that a long time ago, I had just arrived at Krogers to buy some groceries. As I got out of my car and started to go into the store, I saw this shopping cart which for some apparent reason was barreling towards this really nice black car directly in its path about 5o feet away. I saw the driver of the car just getting out of his car and he had not seen the cart coming. I did not call out to him to warn him. I just stood there, fascinated by the randomness of what I was seeing, a grocery cart moving across a parking lot for no reason whatsoever. It was almost hypnotizing as I just stood there following the movement of the cart and waiteing to see what would happen next.
The cart accelerated and slammed hard into the front side panel of the car.
The car's owner was stunned at first and then really angry. He looked about and saw me standing about forty feet away from his car. I had not been close to the cart at all. There was no way that I could have even touched that cart because I stood at a point 90 degrees away from the path of the cart. And still, the man screamed across the lot at me, "Did you do this?"
I still just stood there for a moment or two longer, shook my head and turned to go into the store.
Looking back at that moment, I wondered to myself why I had not yelled out to warn the man that the cart was heading for his car. Why did I do nothing at all? What was wrong with me at that particular moment? What had I been thinking at the time? That it was a really "interesting" moment, at the time?
I don't have a good answer to any of those questions. However, I would like to think that I am a more caring and considerate person than I was at that moment. I really do not savor the idea that at that isolated moment in time, I was the classic bystander asking myself, "Why should I get involved, anyway. After all, that basket is not not heading towards my car. I will not get involved because this has nothing to do with me."
I would also like to think that at minimum that today I would try to do something to help prevent the collision of the cart with that fellows auto. I would like to think that some kind of ingrained sense of community would kick in now, so that I would automatically sound the alarm and get the man's attention, like a caring and considerate member if my community.
Well, we will see just what kind of stuff I am made of, the next time I am face to face one of life's painful little dramas that other people are going through. And presented with the problem in a specific situation, maybe the next time I will be able to change the outcome for the better.
We will see how I handle myself the next time. I only hope that I have learned something about caring what happens to other people and what they possess. Only time will tell what I will end up doing if something like this happens again to me.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Finding a Silver Lining In a Dark Moment
You never know when the seemingly devastating moments in your life will somehow lead you to something good and positive. Some pundit said that even the worst of times have a silver lining. I never really believed that. I just believed that when life got bumpy, I should just take life one day at a time until I regained a measure of control over the situation.
Last January 3rd, I fell asleep at the wheel and totaled my Hyundai Accent. I really liked driving that car. Although it was almost 12 years old, it had only about 132,000 miles and still drove reasonably well. But it was damaged beyond repair. But I was very lucky. I walked away from the accident with only a few bruises. Nevertheless, that experience really shook me up and it took the better part of two months to get past the mental bruising I experienced.
It is almost April now. I have moved on and am back working again. What I have discovered is that I am actually better off without that car. I have learned how to use the public transportation system to get to and from work. It really isn't all that bad a thing. The best part of taking the bus is that I have to walk about half a mile to get to the bus and another half a mile when I get to the bus stop nearest my work. By the time I get to the office, I feel good and awake and ready for the day to begin. In a million years, I could not have foreseen that outcome to a truly unnerving auto accident and that the experience would take me to a realization that there is a viable alternative to driving to work in my car.
Even better is that I have time to read a book commuting to and from work. I had been so busy before the accident that I never had time to do that. So I am able to indulge myself in an unexpected pleasurable activity by taking the bus a couple of days a week.
I guess the simple fact is that life has its ups and downs. Even when we are suffering "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune," there is probably going to be an up side to whatever it is that is happening to us. As I have discovered, we need to just give things some time and that silver lining will eventually reveal itself to us. We just have to have a little patience. As Americans, that may be a little trying, because we are not a particularly patient people. We want what we want and we want it "NOW!" Maybe we have to just unlearn some very unproductive attitudes and habits and to simply turn over a new leaf in our life.
Last January 3rd, I fell asleep at the wheel and totaled my Hyundai Accent. I really liked driving that car. Although it was almost 12 years old, it had only about 132,000 miles and still drove reasonably well. But it was damaged beyond repair. But I was very lucky. I walked away from the accident with only a few bruises. Nevertheless, that experience really shook me up and it took the better part of two months to get past the mental bruising I experienced.
It is almost April now. I have moved on and am back working again. What I have discovered is that I am actually better off without that car. I have learned how to use the public transportation system to get to and from work. It really isn't all that bad a thing. The best part of taking the bus is that I have to walk about half a mile to get to the bus and another half a mile when I get to the bus stop nearest my work. By the time I get to the office, I feel good and awake and ready for the day to begin. In a million years, I could not have foreseen that outcome to a truly unnerving auto accident and that the experience would take me to a realization that there is a viable alternative to driving to work in my car.
Even better is that I have time to read a book commuting to and from work. I had been so busy before the accident that I never had time to do that. So I am able to indulge myself in an unexpected pleasurable activity by taking the bus a couple of days a week.
I guess the simple fact is that life has its ups and downs. Even when we are suffering "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune," there is probably going to be an up side to whatever it is that is happening to us. As I have discovered, we need to just give things some time and that silver lining will eventually reveal itself to us. We just have to have a little patience. As Americans, that may be a little trying, because we are not a particularly patient people. We want what we want and we want it "NOW!" Maybe we have to just unlearn some very unproductive attitudes and habits and to simply turn over a new leaf in our life.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Feel Something... Anything
Every moment of every day of my life, I am very much aware of what I am feeling at the moment. I have good moments and moments that are truly painful or awful. The the only times that I feel fear of any kind are when I am just numb, immobilized by a mental gridlock. I used to go through cycles of serious depression, so those moments of numbness have a special significance for me. That is a place to which I definitely do not want to go.
So now, even in the worst times of my life, I fight off the deadening of my senses. In the best of times, I allow myself to be vulnerable, to be happy, to be exultant, to be a little bit crazy if the mood strikes me. In bad times I rage, I get angry, I yell, I cry, and when I am able to pull it off, I force myself to be calm and rational... I refuse to give into despair or hopelessness. What I know to be true is that even the worst of times will eventually pass, just so long as I don't give up on myself and my life.
Something you all who are reading this posting can do is to check out the list below. When life is just terrifically good or when life delivers you lemons... do what I do: select one of the emotions listed below and give in to the impulse to feel that emotion. Pick any particular one which seems to fit the occasion and just let yourself go. Don't worry about what others might think about where you are going with your feelings. When it comes to feelings, there are no politically right or wrong answers. Just go with the flow, because how else are you going to know you are still alive and kicking, unless you do?
[Note: This list was culled from an advertisement in tne November, 2005 issue of RealSimple.]
So now, even in the worst times of my life, I fight off the deadening of my senses. In the best of times, I allow myself to be vulnerable, to be happy, to be exultant, to be a little bit crazy if the mood strikes me. In bad times I rage, I get angry, I yell, I cry, and when I am able to pull it off, I force myself to be calm and rational... I refuse to give into despair or hopelessness. What I know to be true is that even the worst of times will eventually pass, just so long as I don't give up on myself and my life.
Something you all who are reading this posting can do is to check out the list below. When life is just terrifically good or when life delivers you lemons... do what I do: select one of the emotions listed below and give in to the impulse to feel that emotion. Pick any particular one which seems to fit the occasion and just let yourself go. Don't worry about what others might think about where you are going with your feelings. When it comes to feelings, there are no politically right or wrong answers. Just go with the flow, because how else are you going to know you are still alive and kicking, unless you do?
[Note: This list was culled from an advertisement in tne November, 2005 issue of RealSimple.]
Friday, March 16, 2007
Still Standing After All That Has Happened... Amazing!
More and more, I have begun to take it for granted that, at the end of the day, things will have worked out for me yet one more time. To take anything for granted like that is a dangerous thing to do. If anything, I should be continually amazed that I am still among the people in this world who is still standing upright, in the face of all the adversity I will encounter in life.
More often than not, life presents us with unexpected surprises and daunting challenges. For any of us, it is no mean feat just to get through each day. And yet most of us do just that. How do we do that, without falling apart in the process? Where do we find the strength to move past the next obstacle obstructing our way... and then the one that presents itself after that? Why is it that so often we are blessed because someone is looking out for us? That is not the case for everyone in this world. Why are we allowed to be accounted among the people who are fortunate in this regard?
I don't have answers to any of these questions. I am beginning to believe that to a certain extent it is just the luck of te draw. Some people are lucky. Some are not. I only know that each of us should be utterly amazed that we are alive and hopefully well at the end of this particular day.
This is a pretty dangerous world. One suspects it has always been a dangerous world. Only in the past, we weren't being bombarded from every side by the media, reminding just how dangerous a place it is. And yet somehow most of the time, we are able to avoid the many sorts of catastrophes that could befall us. Something of the "There but for the grace of G'd, go I..." thing.
Sometimes we are unable to dodge the bullet and shit happens to even us. On Jan 3rds of this year, I fell asleep at the wheel and totaled my car. That's the bad news. Shaken though I was, I walked away from the crash with only a few bruises. That's the good news. And hey, most of us in the world do not have to live in Baghdad or any of the other cities in Iraq. That's good news too. So no matter how crappy we think our life may be, most of the billions of people in the world just have to keep things in perspectives.
There is a prayer that goes something like this: Thank you, G'd, for allowing me to get to this day. I would add to this line: ... in one piece. I advocate that every one of us needs to always be just a bit amazed that our life is so blessed... that our lives are filled with people who love us and whom we love... that we are actually able to realize so many of our ambitions and goals... that we are allowed to be healthy and to find a measure of happiness in life... that for the most part, our lives are as good as they are.
I am not saying that any of us should become foolishly overly idealistic. I am only saying that we should never become too jaded about our good fortune in life. That good fortune is a gift, something to be treasured and richly appreciated. What we must always remind ourselves is to feel amazement that our lives are so rich and good and that for some reason, we are one of the lucky ones, still standing upright at the end of the day.
More often than not, life presents us with unexpected surprises and daunting challenges. For any of us, it is no mean feat just to get through each day. And yet most of us do just that. How do we do that, without falling apart in the process? Where do we find the strength to move past the next obstacle obstructing our way... and then the one that presents itself after that? Why is it that so often we are blessed because someone is looking out for us? That is not the case for everyone in this world. Why are we allowed to be accounted among the people who are fortunate in this regard?
I don't have answers to any of these questions. I am beginning to believe that to a certain extent it is just the luck of te draw. Some people are lucky. Some are not. I only know that each of us should be utterly amazed that we are alive and hopefully well at the end of this particular day.
This is a pretty dangerous world. One suspects it has always been a dangerous world. Only in the past, we weren't being bombarded from every side by the media, reminding just how dangerous a place it is. And yet somehow most of the time, we are able to avoid the many sorts of catastrophes that could befall us. Something of the "There but for the grace of G'd, go I..." thing.
Sometimes we are unable to dodge the bullet and shit happens to even us. On Jan 3rds of this year, I fell asleep at the wheel and totaled my car. That's the bad news. Shaken though I was, I walked away from the crash with only a few bruises. That's the good news. And hey, most of us in the world do not have to live in Baghdad or any of the other cities in Iraq. That's good news too. So no matter how crappy we think our life may be, most of the billions of people in the world just have to keep things in perspectives.
There is a prayer that goes something like this: Thank you, G'd, for allowing me to get to this day. I would add to this line: ... in one piece. I advocate that every one of us needs to always be just a bit amazed that our life is so blessed... that our lives are filled with people who love us and whom we love... that we are actually able to realize so many of our ambitions and goals... that we are allowed to be healthy and to find a measure of happiness in life... that for the most part, our lives are as good as they are.
I am not saying that any of us should become foolishly overly idealistic. I am only saying that we should never become too jaded about our good fortune in life. That good fortune is a gift, something to be treasured and richly appreciated. What we must always remind ourselves is to feel amazement that our lives are so rich and good and that for some reason, we are one of the lucky ones, still standing upright at the end of the day.
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